England v India: third Test – live
11th over: England 25-0 (Cook 15, Robson 10) Another fairly quiet one, as Warne extols the pitch, and we're told that only Taunton has a higher run average.
"So just when it seems India's bowlers have got Englanditis (bowling short and wide), they bring in this Pankaj chappie who bowls at the stumps", emails Ravi Nair. "That's cheating right? You're surely only allowed to bowl in the corridor of uncertainty. Otherwise it's like Mankading - just not cricket."
Maybe the idea is to get runs on the board as quickly as possible, to get a declaration, to get in, to get runs, to then have time to bowl them out in the second innings.
11.39am BST
10th over: England 25-0 (Cook 15, Robson 10) Quiet one from Pankaj though he forces Cook to drop the bat on the variation ball, that nips in.
So, with things a little slow in the middle, here's Richard Crabtree inviting you to laugh at his pain. "I fractured my cheekbone by walking into a lamppost while looking behind me to see if I could safely cross the road. Almost worse, my first thought was that I had walked into one of a group of people I had seen approaching, so to their delight, I then turned and apologized to said lamppost."
9th over: England 25-0 (Cook 15, Robson 10) Floaty half-volley from Kumar that Robson drives for one, following a misifield at mid-off. Cook then responds with one of his own, before Robson cover drives to the fence - that's the first boundary of the day. Meanwhile, Warne has arrived in the commentary box, talking about "this rubbish about bowling first". He reckons there's pace in the pitch, especially for the taller bowlers.
11.32am BST
8th over: England 19-0 (Cook 14, Robson 5) Pankaj into the attack. He's a seriously significant man, tall, wide and more than enough to compound feelings of inadequacy. His first-class record isn't bad either - he has 300 first-class wickets and 21 five-wicket hauls - but this over isn't especially menacing. Robson takes a single into the covers, following some hesitation, and otherwise, England will be as satisfied after it as they were before it.
11.27am BST
7th over: England 18-0 (Cook 14, Robson 4) Kumar loses his line at the start of this over, swinging them away far too wide to mither. He's better after that, without testing Cook, and sneaks away with a maiden.
"Surely the most ridiculous injury ever in cricket has to be Derek Pringle ricking his back writing a letter", writes Gary Weightman. "Not sure the Telegraph would believe him if it happened today."
11.24am BST
6th over: England 18-0 (Cook 14, Robson 4) Ok, I'm going to say it: England should win this Test. The pitch is fine, they're batting, they've some class players, the opposing attack is friendly enough. Make 500 in two days, then take some wickets, done and done. Cook pushes two down the ground - Pankaj dives over it, for the second time - and then when he misses one, there's an appeal, but the ball hitting the pad was about all it had going for it. Shami then strays onto Cook's pads, and three are tucked away to midwicket.
11.19am BST
5th over: England 13-0 (Cook 9, Robson 4) Robson's squared by Kumar's second delivery, but the ensuing edge suds down into the turf and to point. Otherwise not much to report - maiden.
"As a kid on my grandad's chicken farm I decided to help with digging up some roots so they could lay the foundations for a new coop," says Ravi Nair. "I grabbed the pick, as tall as me, raised it high and brought it straight down on my middle toe. I was told you can't splint a toe so, though it was broken, I just had to hobble around until it healed. I'm blaming that for my never having become a Test cricketer."
You've still got time. Similar one from me - once hammered a tent peg, and bounced the mallet straight into my noz. It stung.
11.16am BST
4th over: England 13-0 (Cook 9, Robson 4) Cook misses out on a short one that he generally clips for four down to point. Could that be the slice of luck he needs to transmogrify into Mike Brearley? As far as the batting goes, in some ways he improved in the last Test, at least occupying the crease - at Headingley, he batted with frazzled mind and without the patience that's underpinned his success. He then edges Shami's final delivery four four - could that be, etc etc?
Martin Laidler, meanwhile, emails in on England's team selection: "It seems that Stokes has been dropped for being labelled an all-rounder due to his batting. If he was just a bowler who bats now and then, he possibly could still be in the starting XI. Muddled thinking not for perhaps the first time this summer."
Perhaps. Perhaps.
11.12am BST
3rd over: England 9-0 (Cook 5, Robson 4) Robson fences one down to third man, and the lack of bounce suggests that there's less in the pitch than expected. If so, good toss to win, and good call from Cook. Next, Shami slings down one that's well wide, for which Robson can't help but rummage - I worry about him, he'll be honoured to learn. But he edges two more to backward point, and England will be satisfied with this start.
2nd over: England 7-0 (Cook 5, Robson 2) Cook tries a clip to midwicket and squirts to mid on instead, and with Shami anticipating the former, they nash a pair. Then two more, through midwicket, but then Cook flirts outside off when tempted by a lovely length, and is beaten. Is that precisely the sign of poor form that he needs to go on to make a sextuple century?
Talking of Ben Stokes, I can confirm that punching something hard is painful - as a child I lamped a bedside table instead of a pillow. On which point, your most absurdly achieved injuries, please.
Updated at 11.09am BST
11.04am BST
And it's Mohammed Shami from the other end.
11.04am BST
1st over: England 3-0 (Cook 1, Robson 2) "Could that be the break that he needed?" asks Mikey-Michael, because Kumar begins with a beauty, swinging into Cook before seaming away. He fumbles outside off-stump, imparts the thickness of his outside edge - with soft hands, if we're being generous - and the ball drops just shy of second slip. Next ball, he wangles himself a single to midwicket, and Robson is off the mark shortly afterwards, bumping two down the ground through mid on."
"Of the 16632 balls Chris Woakes has bowled in First Class cricket, 144 were in his one Test. We should not judge him on those", emails Gary Naylor. I agree, though I'm not crazy over what I've seen so far, and would've left out Broad not Stokes.
11.00am BST
Kumar to open...
11.00am BST
Play.
11.00am BST
"I think England are really wonderful hosts", chortles Anand Kumar. "As soon as they knew that the visitors had to replace their most potent bowler due to injury, they decided to not take an unfair advantage, dropping their best performing bowler of the previous test (Plunkett). The only thing they are yet to provide India is a rank turner. Looking forward to that gift soon."
Sometime around tea tomorrow, we're going to get to see Jos Buttler bat in a Test match. Allow that.
10.53am BST
Email, with George Wright. "Stokes eh? That's baffling. Is it only me who thinks he would be a really good shout for captain further down the line? No fear, no bull (no known experience admittedly), and already something of a leader."
I suppose it'll come down, first of all, to his ability to cement a place. After that, he's certainly tough enough, but whether he's the nous remains to be seen.
10.52am BST
The absence of Ishant is a very big deal for both sides; England's collective weakness against short stuff is now less an issue, and India have lost their most potent bowler. In typical style, Duncan Fletcher has inserted a batsman - perhaps he'll later be awarded an MBE - which tells you that he'd take a draw.
Updated at 10.52am BST
10.46am BST
Michael Holding reckons on a track like this, if you've four seamers in whom you're confident, you bowl. It is also reckoned that Dhoni would've bowled.
10.44am BST
Given how dependent England seemed to be on Stokes, just ten minutes ago, this decision to leave him out, rather than allow him to play himself into form, is not that easy to grasp.
10.41am BST
England have won the toss and will bat. Something about Alastair Cook. Conditions are overcast, so it'll be a testing first hour or two, but after that, there're runs to be had. Something about Alastair Cook.
Each side makes two changes: Plunkett and Stokes and Binny and the injured Sharma drop out, Woakes and Jordan and Sharma and Pankaj come in.
Slightly odd from England, that - Plunkett is tired, fair enough, and required for Old Trafford, but Stokes was the team's best bowler at Lord's, while Stuart Broad is clearly in need of a sit down. Other hand, Woakes has apparently been bowling better and more quickly in the nets.
10.36am BST
Preamble. There are no shortage of reasons as to why sport is superior to real life, most obviously its not being real life. And because of that, the rules are different - not only are things are rarely as bad as they seem, but they are hardly ever all that bad. There is almost always scope to experience cheer, circumstances almost always improvable and generally resolvable, often very quickly indeed. Real life, on the other hand.
But England are playing sport. So, while it's true that they have lost seven of their last eight Tests, several of them in appalling style, in the process disposing of an all-time great batsman for reasons apparently spurious. But it's also true that they've a nucleus of decent young players in the process of proving their credentials, and as of today, they have Joseph Charles Buttler, who plays as his initials suggest - and then some.
And this is a significant step on the way to turning those decent young players into a team. Because even if Robson and his weakness outside off-stump, Ballance and his reactive batting, and Moeen and his tendency to be stared out by the short ball, all grow into Test batsmen, England still lack a dominator; a man who makes high-class bowlers think and change, a man who introduces frisson to strides.
Buttler himself is either disquietingly softly-spoken or disquietingly softly-spoken; is it determination and confidence, or weakness and doubt? Either way, watching him play is, and is going to be, a significant thrill. Real life, on the other hand.
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